Thanksgiving in April

April has been a rough month for me for a very long time. My dad died in April and every year I have the hardest time making it through April happily.
I'm a little bit obsessed with reading all the sad baby stories I can find, even though every single one makes me sob and worry. This week (my 25th week) I've finally come to realize how lucky I am - at least so far. I've been thankful, for the first time in April, during the week that my dad died, the week that one of my best friends was blessed with a beautiful angel baby who only lived one month - I've been thankful this week that my baby boy kicks strongly in my belly and answers my worried mama voice with a hefty little hand on my bladder. I've been thankful for my only problems being nausea, occasional heartburn, not being able to find a comfortable position anymore at night. I've been thankful for a single ultrasound during which my son looked perfect.
2 weeks ago a friend of my best friend lost her baby on the day of her scheduled C-section. I haven't really talked to anyone about it because I don't know what to say. Baby tragedy seems to surround my life, like a cloud of mosquitos, yet I remain bite free, my own baby kicks steadily and my body remains completely healthy. It is so unfair, for me to have this healthy pregnancy, to have a healthy son, without any work at all. It scares me that something will go unthinkably wrong because I don't think I can cope like these strong women around me. How do you go on living without your baby?
If you would've asked me last year, I'm sure I would've said 9 months flies by in a flash, too quickly to notice. But now - living every second with this baby on my mind, I know that 9 months is the time it takes for me to love someone who isn't even here yet, someone I've never seen with my eyes, more than anything on Earth. 9 months is the time it takes for me to wish my life in exchange for another, should anything ever happen to him. 9 months is an unbearably long period of time during which I wait for this little one to grow and be healthy and strong.
For all the mothers who have shared their stories, thank you for helping me realize how thankful I should be. Thank you for reminding me of the precious life I have growing in me and the gift I've been given. My heart is with you.

Squiggly Worm Fart

A couple of nights ago I figured we'd try to see if Daddy could feel the baby moving in my belly. I've really wondered how long it would take because I'm overweight and it's our first so we had no idea, but the baby has been getting a few good kicks in everyday so I figured it was worth a try.
So we laid down in bed, I was on my back and had Dale's hand on my belly. I could feel the baby lightly moving around in my belly but Dale wasn't saying anything, so I figured he couldn't feel anything yet. We waited about 5 or 10 minutes and suddenly the baby popped a good hard one right on Dale's ring and pinky fingers! I was so excited! Did you feel that? "Oh yeah, that's cool" he says. Then he says "Before the baby kicked, I could feel those farts moving around in there!" I said "Dale, those weren't farts" and he says "Yeah, I know the last one was the baby kicking, but before that, I could feel farts moving around in your stomach up by my thumb and index finger."
Hehe
His thumb was even with my belly button, a good two inches below my displaced tummy!
I let him know it was the baby moving the entire time -- then he said "Yeah - Yeah, that's exactly what I said, I could feel that little fart moving around in there!"