Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Strangest Christmas Combo ever!

My SIL Katie gave me two Christmas presents - Thanks Katie!

If you can't tell, it is "What to expect when you're expecting" pregnancy book, and a pistol-shaped bottle of tequila. I'm not sure what kind of mom she thinks I'll be?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I was in Tennessee to visit my mother from Sunday until TG. I had expected my monthly visitor on Tuesday of my visit. (She was expected, but not wanted!) If I've found out anything over the past 5 months, it is that all symptoms of pregnancy are also symptoms of PMS (which is actually not very "pre" for me, it almost always shows up the day of... ) Anyhow, I'd had a slight few symptoms this month. On Tuesday, I still had no cramps, but that isn't that odd, my cycle can vary by a couple of days and usually the cramps join the mark of the monster. (Yes, I'm being cryptic, mostly because I expect at some point some man will read this and be grossed out). Anyhow, no cramps. By Thanksgiving, I still hadn't gotten my visitor, and I was actually cramping, which made no sense to me, and I was thinking - oh man, this is going to be a doozy if I am cramping already!
I came home Thursday night. I didn't want to get too excited about the thought that I might be pregnant. I'd never known that being pregnant can have cramps, too. They were slightly different cramps than normal, not in the usual location. And I'd been running to the poddy A LOT. Not to mention that I didn't even really want to eat on Thanksgiving - I'd been feeling a little nauseous almost every day - including when Mom and I went to eat Mexican food which was delicious but had me thinking it was not going to stay down at all. Oh yeah, and getting less than 10 hours of sleep left me feeling super tired all day. So those 4 "typical" preggo symptoms combined with my very weird vivid dreams....
I tested Friday morning (at like 6 am when Sierra woke up to poddy). It took about 2.5 seconds for that thing to come up with two blue lines, so apparently the hormones are in FULL swing. And we we hopefully be bringing a happy, healthy baby into our house around the 4th of August, 2009!!!!
I went back to bed, and woke up around 8 am. I already knew how I wanted to tell Dale. I cooked breakfast and then took a hamburger bun and put it in our top oven. I told him breakfast was ready and I needed him to look at something. He got up and came in the kitchen and I said "Look in our oven, there's something in there" he opened the oven and looked inside and picked up the bun and said "What? Who put this there?" I said "You did!" He gave me this really weird look and I know he was thinking I was a freak (since he never uses hamburger buns for anything) and then I said "There is a bun in our oven!"

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The third night after our vacation...

Usually during the night, our dog, Sierra, will wake up, walk up the bed from where she's sleeping at our feet, lay down next to me with her head either on my arm or on my pillow, and go back to sleep.

The third night after our vacation in Florida, I dreamed one of the most vivid dreams of my life. I dreamed that I had a wonderful daughter named Sierra. This felt like real life, and it was very odd because I knew Sierra was a part of my real life, but I couldn't figure out how she could be, since I'd never had a child. In my dream, Sierra and I played and laughed and read books. I was deleriously happy and really thought this was somehow real life. I woke up to puppy Sierra looking in my face, ready for my to wake up so she could lick me :)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The second night after our vacation...

My dad was a really important part of my life. He was my basketball coach most of my life, he took me fishing, we played outside together. He taught me to love life, the outdoors and myself. My dad died when I was 19. It was the most traumatic thing that has happened to me. So traumatic, that 10 years later, I still tear up when I think about not having my dad, my kids never knowing him, my husband never meeting this significant part of my life.

After my dad died, I didn't grieve in life. I grieved in my dreams. I've always dreamed vividly, and these dreams were no exception. Immediately after his death, and for the next probably 3 or 4 months, I'd dream of my dad normally, going fishing, playing basketball, hiking the mountains, being a grandfather to my two nieces who lived close to us in Tennessee. I would wake up after these dreams, and think "I am such a bad daughter, I haven't talked to my dad in two weeks!!!" (or months, later). I would get out of bed, go to the phone, and remember. I would cry. After about 4 months, it sort of set in that my dad was dead, and then I started dreaming that my dad was alive in my dreams, but not alive like he was before. He would be very weird, almost like an autistic person - he'd be doing a single motion repetitively or saying something very odd, or ignoring me altogether. One dream in particular, I remember I came home and my Dad was standing on the sidewalk and he had all these stop watches (Dad also refereed lots of games, so he did have a ton of stopwatches, and this reminded me that I wanted one of his stopwatches). All of these stopwatches were lined up on the sidewalk and he was walking up and down the sidewalk, counting them, fidgeting with them, moving one to the end and another to the middle, just being really weird. I tried to talk to him and it was like he didn't even know I was there. I'd wake up after these dreams feeling confused and sad. I'd lost my dad in life, and then I'd lost him in dreams, too. These dreams lasted a while, maybe 6 months to a year. hen I began to dream that my dad was alive in my dreams but I knew he was dead in life. These were weird, because I didn't know what to do. Finally, I dreamed my dad was dead in my dreams and life. Sometimes I would talk to his ghost, sometimes I'd be at his funeral again. Sometimes I'd just be talking to someone about my dad. All of these dreams lasted probably 2 years after my dad's death. Then I dreamed of him very rarely for a while, and when I did dream of him, he would be alive and he would guide me through tough decisions - I'd always know he was dead in life, so I'd want to stay asleep as long as possible. These dreams became more distanced over the years, and I probably hadn't dreamed specifically of my dad in a year or more.

The second night after our vacation in Florida, I dreamed of my dad. Just like the night before, it was one of the most vivid dreams of my life. I don't remember many of the details, except that in my dream, people kept saying my dad was dead (even though he was just there). Everyone in my dream thought my dad was dead. I had forgotten he really was dead. When I woke up, I thought "that was so strange that everyone thought my dad was dead - I wonder why they would think that? I should probably call him, I haven't talked to him since I don't know when." Then it hit me, just like it used to when I was 19 - I would never get to call or visit my dad again.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The first night after our vacation

Our house has, especially last year, had lots of scorpions. Growing up in Tennessee, this is one stinging bug that I had never really dealt with and was happy to keep avoiding. But when our neighbors built their house, we were absolutely invaded by scorpions. Probably about 4 a week from June until early September. This summer wasn't so bad, I think we had about 4 or 5 the whole summer! Still, those things freak me out and I squeel like a girl (which is unusual for me when we're talking about bugs, animals or even stinky smells). Dale is the official scorpion killer.

The first night we got back from our Florida vacation, I had one of the most vivid and unusual dreams of my life. In my dream, Dale and I were asleep in bed when he suddenly jumped up out of bed to get ready for work - at exactly 6:01 with no alarm (this never happens). I sat up to tell him good morning and noticed that about 10 inches above where his head had just been on his pillow, there was a giant scorpion. Like, I don't even think scorpions come in this size anywhere. Our Texas scorpions are sometimes tiny, but at the most 3 inches long or so. This scorpion was a good 8-10 inches long and probably 5 inches wide. And it was a FAT sucker, too. I freaked, jumped out of bed, and noticed another one right over MY pillow! Then I turned to run out of our bedroom and noticed THREE over our doorway! Dale killed them all, and in my dream, I went back to sleep. (Wouldn't have happened in real life, sometimes I lay there for HOURS when we find a scorpion in the bedroom).

The really odd thing is that when I woke up the next morning, I couldn't figure out if it was a dream or real life. I actually had to ask Dale if there were scorpions in our bed. This rarely happens to me - usually I know I'm dreaming even when I'm dreaming, and usually my dreams are so freakishly weird, there is no way they are real life anyway.