Gray is growing up so fast. It feels like he's already a little man and not my tiny helpless baby anymore at all. He babbles and talks and blows bubbles in my face. He holds his head high all the time. He tries to sit up all the time, he doesn't want to be cradled, he wants to see the world and experience life. He even tries to sit up straight in his carseat! He tries to sit up in his whale of a tub (bathtub) and scares the daylights outta me - I know if he manages to sit up he'll flop right forward, so I watch him like a hawk. He stands with my hands under his armpits and sometimes he'll do a little dance for us. If I let him grab my fingers with both hands, he can pull himself into sitting from laying down and to standing from sitting. I can carry him on my hip. He loves the alphabet song and Goodnight Moon already. He laughs when I blow on his belly and squeels when I hold him high in the air and then bring him down to my face and kiss him all over. He likes to pee in the sink and will fuss at me if I leave him in a diaper when he needs to pee. He's starting to recognize what boobies are and when he's hungry or in need of comfort he will grab and pull and put his face to my chest in search of his ultimate snugglie. He will sometimes hold his bottle while at the sitter's. He's not interested in laying down or learning to crawl, I think he'll be walking early and maybe even totally skip crawling. I feel like he'll be walking tomorrow. He hates being swaddled "that's for babies" he says though it might sound a lot like "gooooggrrrh" to you. When I say "I love you" he says "Aboo!" and I pretend that he means he loves me, too. When I'm holding him and he sobs it sounds like "huuunnnnnnnn-greeeeeee" like he's telling me he's ready to eat. When Dale holds him and he cries it sounds like "Maaaaaaaa-maaaaaaaa" like he's saying he wants me. Last night he babbled with this fussy talk for probably an hour, like he was learning that his voice sometimes sounds different and maybe that mama responds to the fussy talk in a different way than regular talk. He loves the bathtub. He splashes and squeels and kicks all the water out. He knows if he gets his feet on the bottom he can scoot his butt up over the hump that holds him upright. He doesn't know what will happen when he jumps the hump because mama is always messing up his plan and sitting him back up on the hump where he should be. He likes to watch the little whale sprinkler "shower" him. He stares at it and if he had been starting to fuss a bit he will calm right down. He's figuring things out. When he's in the swing he watches the arms of the swing the whole time, like he's figuring it out in his head and it makes me think he'll be an engineer like his Daddy. If he's fussy you can step outside for a second and he calms right down, like he's going to be a wildlife biologist like his mama. He's never once startled or cried about the dogs and their antics, barking or licking him or anything else. If he's asleep and I sneeze he'll cry like I purposely smashed his favorite toy, his whole face scrunches up and his little bottom lip quivers and big ole alligator tears roll down his face while he says "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH".
He likes to cuddle at night. His favorite place is on his side right up against me where the milkers are easy access. He'll put one arm and hand up on my chest like he's claiming and cuddling me. When he falls asleep while nursing his little head will bob up and down because he's still "nibbling". I call him pacman because of his little chin bob and head bob when he nurses. I call him bobcat because sometimes he cries and it sounds like a MEOW of a little tiny baby kitten (myowp!) I call him Love because no one has ever had my whole heart like he does. He turns 4 months old on Sunday, he has his whole life before him and I don't know how I'll ever handle him going to school or riding a bike or kissing a girl or driving a car.
